Glam metal Mondays: Pour Some Sugar On Me

Have you noticed how many great rock bands are English?  I always knew the obvious ones (The Rolling Stones, Beatles… if you can call them rock, etc) but there are so many 80s bands (pop and rock) that I assumed were American (because isn’t everything?) only to very lately discover they’re English.  Def Leppard is one of them and, like many of these English rock bands, hail from England’s North.

(Maybe everyone knows this and I’m the only one who’s clueless here but it was a bit of a revelation.)

This is an absolute classic rock song that you can’t help but singalong to.  Before we get to it, though, lets consult our glam metal checklist:

  • Big hair?  Check
  • Relaxed man-perms?  Check
  • Catchy hook?  Oh yes

Can’t say I approve of the bogan jeans look, although Rick and Steve are making a valiant, stylish 80s effort.  Anyway, who can criticise the band with the Thunder God (even if he is wearing shorty shorts)?  Certainly not me.  Also, special shout out to Joe Elliott’s massive mullet.  Not quite a Billy Ray, but impressive nonetheless.

Noguiltever

I’ve been watching the Facebook feed of one of my friends who declared November to be ‘Noguiltvember’ – an international month of amnesty to admit to all those truly tragic songs that you secretly love.

These are the songs that you sing in the shower when you think no one can hear you.  They’re also the songs that have a high hit rate for karaoke-goers because everyone knows that karaoke works best when you’re belting out daggy 80s power ballads.  The more akin you sound to a wailing cat, the better, since karaoke has nothing to do with good singing and everything to do with childhood sentiment and lots and lots of alcohol.

There’s been some cracking nominations for shameful, secret song-crushes this month:

– Songs by the Glee cast

– Songs by Gwyneth Paltrow

– Songs by New Kids on the Block (I have to admit, that one was me)

– Songs by Miami Sound Machine

And, my personal favourite nomination, Everlasting Love by Rex Smith and Rachel Sweet:

But why should we limit this to only one month?  Why not Noguiltever, instead of Noguiltvember!  And why only music?  I’m breaking the shackles of convention and declaring:

  • I know all the words to ‘Part Of Your World’ from The Little Mermaid.  And you can tell if I’ve had a few too many drinks because that’s my go-to song as I unsteadily make my way home.
  • I think the Lord of the Rings movies were better than the books.  There I said it.  They basically cut out all of Tolkein’s self-indulgent, waffly descriptive paragraphs that went on for ever and ever (and ever) and got straight to the good bits.
  • Duets was a good movie.
  • I liked Grease 2.  I cannot believe I’m admitting this publicly but ‘Cool Rider’ is a brilliant song.  [resisting urge to delete…]
  • I’m a creature of habit, mostly because I get nervous doing something new – even if it’s something as basic as walking a different way to work.  This is patently ridiculous and part of the reason why I moved to the UK – to really do something different!  But, even after the big bad city, I was still nervous today when I walked into a street market I’ve never been before (and being pleasantly surprised).
  • Clubbing: it’s overrated.
  • I know Captain Kirk is supposed to be the ultimate Star Trek captain but, frankly, I think Janeway nailed it.
  • Men are sometimes right.  The Guy is more often right than wrong, damnit.  So annoying.
  • I read the Daily Mail (a UK conservative tabloid newspaper – I know I should read something appropriately left(ier) like The Guardian but they’re so pompous).
  • I actually like trashy romance novels, especially the sci-fi/romance ones.  I have no intention of ever reading Dostoyevsky.
  • If no one was looking and I weren’t feeling like I was having a fat day, I could and would eat a whole jumbo bag of corn chips.  In the same vein, I have eaten an entire family block size of chocolate to myself.

Oh man, it feels good to get all that off my chest!

Glam metal Mondays: Every Rose Has Its Thorn

Wow, I forgot Bret Michaels ever looked this young.

So, it’s Monday and time for your (mostly) weekly dose of 80s rock: big hair, big guitars and a whole lotta smoke machines.

Today’s offering comes to us from Poison.  Lets consult our glam metal checklist:

– Mane of hair?  Check.

– Tight pants? Check.

– Elaborate guitar solos? Check.

– Overuse of hydrogen peroxide?  Big check.

Extra points given for footage of guitar destruction.  Points deducted for lack of smoke machines and power stancing.

Enjoy.  

P.S. if you haven’t ever heard it, it actually is a lovely song.  Sort of rock-country, with some very nice sentiment behind it.  Even Bret Michaels has his reflective moments.

P.P.S. if your only experience with this song has been via (grimace) Miley Cyrus, then consider this a public service and my attempt to redress a great, great wrong done to you.

Glam metal Mondays: Here I Go Again

Ok, it’s technically Tuesday but I can see this will be an ongoing theme for me and Monday is more pleasingly alliterative.

I was but a young girl in the 80s, not really glam metal’s target audience at the time but it nonetheless forms a big part of my warm fuzzy memories about the Best Decade Ever (you guessed it: the 80s).

What was it about glam metal that got the ladies so hot and bothered? Big hair, leather pants tucked into white high-tops, inappropriate pelvic thrusting… what the?  Well now that I am that target audience (albeit belatedly) I can tell you that it’s big hair! The inappropriate pelvic thrusting! And even leather pants tucked into sneakers are a ! not a ? when it’s David Coverdale doing it.

Even after all these years, he can still impregnate you with that steely stare.  Which is why today’s offering is Whitesnake’s ‘Here I Go Again’.  It has all the classic motifs: artistic use of a smoke machine, excessive tonguing, gratuitous power stancing and guitar thrusting, not to mention lots of leather and luxuriant locks.  It’s a classic for a reason and has single-handedly kept me at the cycling so I can have Tawny Kitaen-worthy pins. David, you’ll be in my dreams tonight*.

* If either of David’s kids see this, sorry you had to read that about your Dad!  PS what is it like having a rock god as your father?